Monthnotes Feb/March

Look after number uno

The thing is, it creeps up on your slowly.. like over the months and years.

We give a little more, we try a little harder. We succeed depsite the unlikeliness.

It becomes the norm, we keep pushing on, working in a culture where progress and productivitiy is valued much more than whatever mess has been left in the wake

Colleagues from my previous team nicknamed me “Super Tom”….

Then one day it hits you. Burnout, a crash, physically, mentally, whatever it is.

Sitting in a hospital bed for a few hours or days, contempating why and how I end up here?

What happened to my cloak of invicibility?

unuseful methaphor

The frog boiling in a pan, so to speak, is unaware of the change happening around them. Now this has been disproven (mythbusters), though it is an interesting maybe unuseful methaphor…

• do the team cope with one less person? and another one less? and another?
• can they pick up this one more project? and another? and another
• just reply to another Slack thread? and another? and another, etc

I don’t think a lack awareness here was the problem, it is often toxic cultures, driving adverse behaviours.

Taking a positive mental attitudes: some more resilience training?

Overcome some struggles? Another case study for the CV, clap clap, etc

Empowered teams - commit to whatever you feel you can do!

Masking problems? Well we’re all very good at that these days

Coping with non-stop interruptions? A tech culture of omnipresence - everyone, being everywhere all at once

Compounding factors: both inside and outside of work?

The backstory

Anyhow, in January and through February I was in peak fitness. Running 20-35 miles every week, smashing PBs, etc.

Eating well, sleeping well, generally being happy and healthy.

Then I picked up a virus (probably Covid for the third time). Some sickness at first, but after a week it was still lingering tiredness and pain on the chest.

After two weeks it seemed to be getting worse.

I called 111 and expected they would sort me some antibiotics, but instead was sent to the Walkin Centre.

Timely reminder why we need to support the “NHS Frontline”

After two hours getting triaged, I was then sent to A&E for blood tests and ECG.

It turned out I would need four sets of blood tests within the day to various mishaps. The wrong tests being ordered, tests going missing, validation tests, etc.

As well, 4 ECGs for chest monitoring. This was slightly unnerving as I have never had any problems with chest pains before. Each test telling a different story.

It was 10pm, I was the only person left on Jimmy’s SDEC/A&E on a Friday night, the team didn’t want to take any risks so I was transferred to LGI Cardio ward for overnight monitoring (first time in an ambulance).

More tests, more measurements, more ECGs. Staff all seemed stretched, but very professional and empathetic nevertheless.

I was next to someone having a pacemaker fitted, someone elderly who collapsed from low blood pressure, and someone else scheudeled for a triple heart bypass surgery. Surely I’m in the wrong place I thought?

Nevertheless, the paramedics, nurses and doctors all were very thorough with their checks. Are these tests normal for someone who can routinely runs 10-20 miles through the hills/trails? Or is there something underlying going on?

Anyway after waiting nine hours for an ECHO ultrasound scan, and an all-clear result (i.e. nothing urgent), I was discharged with medicine to take for pericarditis/mycarditis.

Thankfully family were in the area for the weekend, good to drive me home. Several friends also offered to help which was appreciated too.

Whatever next

Loads of tablets. It has been two weeks of rest now, it might a few months before recovery. Still getting constantly tired and needing rest.

I’ve cancelled and rescheduled some running events. Need to build it up again slowly and carefully and make sure I get lots of rest.

Less caffeine, protein shakes and a few painkillers - alertness, building muscle and speedy recovery - it can all wait. There are no cheat codes to life.

Definitely need to stick to Salad Tuesdays!

What about work?

Well with all this going on, it’s not really been top priority. I just did my end of year review which hope to share more in a future monthnote.

If I’m taking a long time to reply, please don’t worry, I’m not ignoring you… just trying to look after number uno until I get right again.

Do ask yourself: “What would Tom do?” then do that. Maybe also ask MS Copilot if that is a good idea too :D

I know there is a huge tonne of change coming along and lots of people are rightly anxious, confused and upset about how it has all being managed.

If anyone else is struggling with their health due to the environments they are in… do reach out, always happy to chat

Don’t forget to be kind to yourself… say no more often… Salad

Tom